Ramblings...

So we were actually home in Maine for about 10 days in August. So good to see the family and several friends...eat some lobster rolls, smell the ocean air. I miss it so much...hard to believe that I spent the first 18 yrs of my life waiting to get outta there--so much to do and see beyond my slightly sheltered and very WASP-y world.

Managed to take Munchkin by train into Beantown w/Grandma to visit a special group of friends and their kids. We hung out, saw the "Make Way for Ducklings" ducks, rode the swan boats...had a great time. I have such fond memories of Boston--both from trips there as a child and also from college days and beyond. Heck, that's where BikeBoy and I met and it will always be special.

On the way back to the plane (in Newark!) we hung out in NYC for a few hrs. Showed Munchkin our old 'hood (she couldn't have cared less). She did yell out, "This is AWESOME!" as BikeBoy sped down 5th Ave with the rest of the traffic, trying to avoid street closures before the Dominican Republic's parade. We had a slice at Ray's and walked along Bleecker (almost ducked in for a John's pizza, too, I might add!) and had an ice cream. Played at the two playgrounds in Washington Square Park. Although we lived there (nearly 20 yrs ago now...17, I guess) I cannot imagine raising a child there. Not that I wouldn't want to...I think I would, I just have a difficult time picturing it. I watched moms pushing strollers ($1000 strollers, BTW) along the narrow, crappy sidewalks of the Village, trying to maneuver into tight doorways and up the stairs to brownstones. I can't even imagine trying to take the subway somewhere...and how competetive preschools are (and how expensive). It seems so much easier to do all this from the 'burbs.

But then I took Munchkin to a kids' improv theatre in a funky neighborhood in "the city" here today and it was so fun. We walked around a bit waiting for the show to start...so many restaurants and independent coffee shops. Munchkin kept running ahead of me on the sidewalk. I asked her, "Do you like it here in the city or out where we live better?" She said, "Where we live...no...BOTH!"

When I read MetroDad's posts about life in the city w/the Peanut I think it just sounds fun...different than our lives but fun. And having grown up in the 'burbs myself I know how much trouble youths can get into there...how can it be any worse in the city? At least you wouldn't worry about your child driving while under the influence--we wouldn't even have a car. So many cultural events all within walking distance--museums, galleries, opera, symphony, ballet, theatre, rock concerts, ethnic restaurants--heck, entire ethnic neighborhoods, etc. It is a magnificent feast for the senses! And the diversity within the city always makes me smile. No diversity where I grew up and not a lot of it where we live now either. As the parent of a TRA I am so much more aware than ever before.

I guess I'm just a tad bit jealous of those who make the choice to rear their kids in the city. I often wish we could.

Look, Mama! I fed the butterflies!...

...is something you don't want to hear from your 4 yr old. I was washing the dishes and looked over and Munchkin had dropped a chunk of watermelon in the butterfly net-house and a butterfly was lying partially UNDER the melon chunk! It was desperately twitching, trying to free itself. I had to unzip the top of the house and reach in with a pair of tongs (god-forbid that my hand actually touched a butterfly--eeeeek!) and lifted the melon off the butterfly--rescuing it! It kind of limped around for a minute or two, it's wings stuck together with melon juice but then it flapped a couple of times and was okay. Phew. A tragic ending prevented! :)

Mammogram time...

Yesterday was time to get my "girls" checked out. The hospital that I have this done at has a really new, high-falutin' mammography machine so there are long waits to even get an appointment. Once there you have to wait to check-in, then wait in another area for someone to bring you back to the changing rooms to put on a cape, then once you're caped up like WonderWoman there is a third area to wait in.

Well, yesterday the first waiting area had no magazines. None. Not one. There were three of us sitting there--one younger gal was reading a book. The other (a middle-aged gal, like me) says, "Geez, I can't believe there's nothing to read. I was counting on that. I would've brought something had I known there'd be nothing at all." I then thought about what I did before I left the house...I thought about bringing a book with me but the only one handy was one on menopause which I had just borrowed from the library. So, I said, "I was gonna bring a book but the only one I had was on menopause and I thought better of it." The other middle-aged gal say, "You shoulda brought it...could've read it out loud to us...maybe we could all learn something!" :)

A few new posts...

I have been terribly negligent...poor lonely blog. I only know of one dear friend who actually admits to reading this thing anyway so I have cut/pasted a few posts from a board where I'm a bit more active posting. Just a few things.

Oh, yeah...totally unrelated thought here...why is it that there are some things a kid says that are just so darned cute that we can't correct the pronunciation? Like Munchkin say's "hyneena" for hyena. I love it and I will try my darndest to work hyneena into any conversation with her just to hear it. :) A few others from the past: "kicken" (chicken), "doonin" (doing). I'll add more if I think of 'em.

Uh-oh...

Munchkin was up on the balcony peeking out between the rails and I asked her what she was doing...she said, "Thinking about Kindergarten and jail." WTF? I guess the rails seemed like bars on a cell? But WTF? BikeBoy says, "That's my girl! I always thought school was like prison."

First trip to the circus...

We took Munchkin to the circus last night (no bashing please...I feel guilty supporting the circus when I do not think it's the best place for the animals to be...). I just really loved the circus when I was a kid and wanted Munchkin to experience it at least once so we went.

She was in awe for the first 30 minutes. When the acrobats were doing some of their performance (swinging through the air and catching each other, etc.) Munchkin leaned over to me and says, "I wanna see YOU do that, Mama!" We didn't see much of the rest of the show--she wanted to walk around the souvenier booths and picked out a small stuffed white tiger ($15! Yikes!) then after intermission we went back and saw about 30 more minutes of the show and left after the poodles performed.

It was kinda fun...and sad for the animals...think we'll be doing Cirque du Soleil from here on out. By the way, I once got a form letter from C du S when they were recruiting PTs! Can you imagine if I had taken them up on that and called my mom to tell her I had joined the circus!

A menopausal rant...

I am in the throes of some perimenopausal or menopausal crap. I have been having hotflashes several times a day/night for a couple of weeks. It sucks. I have to wear a tank top and a sweater and be ready to rip the freakin' sweater off at any given moment while my whole upper body drips in sweat. I want to shave my head (I have very thick hair and my head just gets extremely sweaty). I want to go to work naked.

Tonight at the dinner table a hotflash came on. I had been doing laundry so all I had on was a bra and my lightweight robe. I took the robe off the top half of me and just sat there in my bra at the table! (Munchkin had already excused herself so it was just BikeBoy and me!) Then I thought, here I am, about to turn 46...that's 64 backwards...so I started bawling and asked BikeBoy if he'll still love me when I'm 46 (thinking of the Beattles tune re: 64)! Then I, for the first time, really thought that the chances are pretty good that my wonderful life is most likely more than half over now. THEN I started ranting that if it isn't bad enough that I went through 32 years of periods for abso-fcking-lutely no reason that I now have to have the world's suckiest version of menopause. It's like a slap in the face. And, let me tell you how pleasant it is to have a hotflash when I'm in these tiny treatment rooms with a client. Thankfully, because of my middle-of-the-day working hours, most of my clients are either elderly women or SAHMs so I can tell them what's happening (if they aren't already noticing!). PTs get to know their clients well--kinda like hairstylists do--so it's not unusual to chat about personal stuff...thank goodness.

So, tomorrow my goal is to find and buy as many soy products as I can. Soy milk, soy beans, soy nuts, Luna bars...whatever. If you have any recommendations on how to ease these damned hotflashes please share because I'm about to lose my effing mind.

The cat in the toilet story (finally)...

About an hour before Munchkin had to head out to piano lessons I started getting ready. So...we went upstairs and I set her up in front of the tv/PBS while I started getting ready to take a shower. I leave the master bath door open in case she needs me I can hear her or she can just come in.

So...I'm in there, (warning, major TMI alert but it is necessary to the story!!)...going to the bathroom (#2). Codythecat is in there, too. Well, I stand up to flush and the damned cat jumps onto the toilet seat before I can flush and shut the cover and he slips and FALLS INTO THE FREAKIN' TOILET.

Remember, I just went #2. Out splashes all kinds of dirty water all over me, all over the bathroom rug, all over BikeBoy's towel on the rack. And, of course it's all over the effing cat...who now is terrified and climbs quickly out of the toilet and runs out of the room, dragging his effing wet tail behind him.

I scream, "F***ing CAT!" (which, of course, Munchkin repeats, melodically) and give chase (well, after stripping off my now drenched in toilet water--and I don't mean the fancy name for perfume--pajamas). He runs downstairs and around and around the butcher block in the kitchen. He was like a greased pig. I finally catch him and take him upstairs where I shove him into the shower stall...trying to wedge my arm in the sliding door just enough to turn on the water and manipulate the water in his direction. He is wailing. I'm soaking him as best I can. He finally manages to sneak out, once again drenching everything in his path (but at least it's clean water this time). Munchkin is laughing hysterically. I am not. I give chase once again with a dry towel to try to dry off Codythecat. Then I got into the shower and realized how funny the whole thing really was and I broke into hysterical laughter.

Remind me to tell you about the cat in the toilet...

some night soon when I have time to type it out! It's pretty funny! :)

I won an award tonight! ;)

I took a quick bath w/Munchkin tonight as I had just returned from a 45 min walk and was sweaty and Munchkin needed a bath, too. What the heck! It was fun...we splashed around and poured water on each other and laughed. Then she says, "You're the best slippery Mama I ever had!" Then she rested her head on my tummy and said, "You're the best slippery Mama I ever rested my head on." LOL! What a cutie! I love her so much!

Intermediate Tap...

kicked my butt tonight! It was the first class and there were four continuing students there plus me and three of my friends who are moving on from the beginner class w/me. The teacher is nice and she put us through a slightly harder warm-up than our previous class. We also learned some triplets (open and closed) and a new combo done to the song "East of the Sun, West of the Moon." Very fun, very good workout. It was not as fun in a relaxing way as the previous class was but it is more challenging and that is fun, too.

TGFT! (thank goodness for tap!)

Munchkin is so musically diverse...

She knows the words to all these cool jazz tunes like "Straighten Up and Fly Right" and "Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing" and and she can hum the tunes of "Paper Moon" and "Flyin' Home"...but then I tell her we're going to the symphony (last weekend's symphony for tots program) and she says, "Symphony of Destruction"? That is, of course, the Megadeth song she also knows how to hum!

Adoption ramblings...

Ah...the frustrations of the non-fertile. As the waiting period for China lengthens and lengthens I am now second-guessing our decision to adopt from there. Is the wait going to be two years? Three? Four or (gasp!) even more? Should we proceed as we are planning or should we jump ship now and switch to another country (which will mean switching placement agencies, too, since our agency only does China adoptions)? Is it ethical to apply to two countries at the same time, knowing that we only want one more child and would pull one application as soon as a referral from the other country came through?

All along we have hoped for two daughters...just because I have never been around baby boys, little boys, boys at all--other than boy friends once I was in high school and college. China would allow us to request a girl. Vietnam has many more boys available for adoption than girls...I know I would love any child who joined our family but when I picture our family complete it has never included a boy--it's odd to even consider it (but also a little fun to consider it, I must admit). Maybe it stems from having been raised by a widowed mom and that I had no brothers (or sisters!). I don't know what it is (and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone with precious boys--I still love 'em!!!) but it makes me sad to think that we couldn't request a girl through most agencies which work with Vietnam. And some agencies aren't even taking new families now because they have such long waitlists.

Then I wonder if a boy and a girl would be as close as two of the same sex could potentially be? Again, not having any siblings I have no idea how I would've felt about a brother or a sister. I never really longed for either. Munchkin knows we are trying to adopt from China and has been excited about a future sister...will she feel the same if sister ends up being brother?!

Crap. What to do, what to do. Meanwhile, the paperchase continues...just not sure who/where we're paperchasing and if it's all for naught in the end...

My friend, Chrisbo

Oh, just thinking about him tonight. This is a very belated post...he died on May 17th. He was a wonderful guy who was only 41 and he leaves behind a fantastic wife and two kids and my heart aches for them.

Chris had an astrocytoma brain tumor, diagnosed in 2003. He seemed to be fighting it so well for the first 2-3 yrs then it started winning. I was hoping he would get a miracle like Lance Armstrong but it was not to be, I guess.

Some words to describe Chris: kind, soft-spoken, smiling eyes, funny, intelligent, handsome, great skiier, great athlete, great friend, better dad/husband/son, excellent Euchre partner!, successful, a fighter (against the tumor). Just an all-around great person and one who will be tremendously missed by all who knew him.

Monday there is a celebration of his life in Michigan...BikeBoy is going but Munchkin and I are not. I wish we could be there but we will be in spirit. Godspeed, Chrisbo...I love you, my friend.

National Tap Dance Day!

I went to Nat'l Tap Dance Day at a studio in "the big city" and it was the coolest thing! I brought Munchkin and we both watched the 90 min show. Mostly young adults (I'm guessing about 20-25 yo but a few older high schoolers and a couple of older-than-me gals about 60ish)...several different styles from the torn jeans-no music-stomp-like stuff to the jazzier-girls-in-black-skirts stuff. Very cool. They had a surprise guest, this guy Mark Mendonca...he will be teaching some masters classes there in July. My teacher was in 4 numbers and she was just a joy to watch---so smooth and with a huge smile on her face like she was just having the time of her life! Watching tap dancers tap or participating in tap itself is just so uplifting--you can't help but smile listening to the rhythms and seeing the blur of those dancing feet!

Then...as if all that wasn't enough...at the end of the show we pushed all the chairs out of the way and the whole audience joined the performers for the Shim Sham (which I just learned for my own "recital")!!! I had to do it holding Munchkin since the music was loud and she was a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of people dancing but it was fantastic! I can't wait until my next class!!

Official Tap Recital!

It was such fun! Our families came for the last 15 min of classtime. When they arrived we were doing some improv stuff then we did our official routine...the shim sham (to "Flyin' Home" by Lionel Hampton) and we each had a 6 second solo. We had to make last minute changes to the routine because one gal couldn't make it (her husband had a shareholders' meeting to attend...bet you don't get that excuse when it's a little kids' tap dance recital!). It went well...I messed up one small part but BikeBoy wasn't looking at me at the time (phew!). Three of the husbands were there and there were 6 kids. The husbands were all videotaping! What a riot! I made BikeBoy take a picture of the 4 of us after it was over! And I found out there's a tap festival in Vancouver, BC in late August/early September. I would love to drive up and take a master class. AND, National Tap Dance Day is this Friday (to honor the birthday of Mr. Bojangles) so a local tap company in the city is having an informal show to celebrate that this Sunday (my teacher is in 4 numbers).

And, one more funny thing...my mom had been in town visiting the week before but wouldn't be here on recital night so she went to my tap class to watch us practice. At the end of the class my teacher went out to sit with Mom while we went through our routine one last time. After class, Mom and I are riding home and she says, "Your teacher told me that you are the most advanced student in the class!" LOL! This cracks me up because my 19 yo teacher, told my 81 yo mom that her 45 yo daughter is the best in the class! Bet mom wasn't expecting to hear that since I danced as a kid. And, truth-be-told, my feet are probably the best at doing the steps but I am not nearly the nicest one to watch--my upper body just isn't as graceful as the others in class but--hey, I'll take any compliment I can get! :)

Got puppets???

I'm on my next-to-the-last phone call this a.m. with a parent coach I've been working with (she's the friend of a friend, getting the last hours of coaching in for her certification--so I'm getting free coaching!!)...we're talking about ways to avoid conflict but still get our little ones to do the things we need them to do. She mentioned that there have been research studies done which show that children listen to/pay attention to puppets 10x more than to a parent. (she's going to send me the research links eventually) 10 times! She suggested using puppets as transitional aids like keeping one in the bathroom to get her to brush her teeth longer, etc.

So today, after I mentioned it to BikeBoy, two different times he used his plain old hand as a puppet (a la Oobi) and Munchkin immediately did what the "puppet" told her to do! It was almost freakish!So...bring on the puppets!!! I'm gonna keep 'em all over the house and I'm definitely gonna put one in my coat pocket for our next trip to the "market-store."

Methinks thou dost protest...

I calmly sent Munchkin to her room yesterday for being repetitively disrespectful. After a few minutes I heard her singing over and over, "We sha-do-ver-caaaah-ah-um, we sha-do-ver-caaah-ah-um." (translation: we shall overcome) Hmmm...should I be worried? :D

Happy Family Day, Munchkin!

Hard to believe but it was 4 yrs ago this very day that our sweet Munchkin arrived from S. Korea and was placed into my arms.

It was a beautiful sunny day but cold and windy. Her plane was a few minutes late. When "P," her escort, approached me I could see Munchkin was sleeping and looked pale so I couldn't cry (which I was expecting to do!) since I was worried she was sick. He assured me that she had been awake and cooing all the way from LA and had just a short time ago fallen asleep. She stayed asleep as I held her for the first time then passed her to BikeBoy. I still remember how good she smelled and how soft her skin was when I kissed her precious cheek. How wonderful it felt to hold this tiny person whom I had only seen in two pictures for the past 9 weeks and dreamed about for years prior to that.

She slept until all the paperwork was done and BikeBoy and I carried her back to the car...the wind woke her up. She proceeded to hold my hand and chew my finger all the way home.This weekend we celebrated (hence the trip to see "Goodnight, Moon") and yesterday I took her to the Build-a-Bear store to make a stuffed animal to go with a Korean hanbok I found on their website. She made a cat (a Hello Kitty one...she is a huge cat lover and usually has tiny "Smelly Cat" with her at all times)! Today is mostly a regular day but grandma wants me to pick up 4 big carnations to give her after school and we may try to go out to supper, too.

I always write her a long letter on this special day, too, that tells all her big achievements during the past year, her likes/dislikes/friends, etc. I also list my hopes for her for the future. I'm going to try my hardest to write letters to her foster mom and her birthmom (birthmom's letter will only go into Munchkin's file in Korea...in case she ever goes back to the orphanage looking for info)...will include a picture or two, too.

And I profusely thank her birthmother for making such a hard decision but one which gave such hope to her daughter and such joy to my life.

First school concert...

OMGosh. Munchkin had her first concert w/her preschool this week. Unbelievably cute. She wandered out on stage (after about a 30 foot gap between her and the person in front of her!) and sat on the risers with her class. The school sang 2 songs all together...the Hello Song and another (I'll have to look it up in the program later) then her class did two songs by themselves: "I Can Tap My Toes" and "We Shall Overcome." Then all the other classes performed a couple of songs then the whole school ended with: "Puff the Magic Dragon," "Yellow Submarine," and the "Goodbye Song."

Munchkin sang all her songs plus sang along with many of the other classes' songs! She wandered over to another class (on her belly!)...climbed onto another level of the risers...lifted up her dress and played w/her bellybutton...spread out on the floor in an unladylike position and took off a shoe. It was cute, nerve-wracking, and freaking hilarious all at the same time! At the end she did a huge bow! She was very proud of herself and so were BikeBoy and I. Very proud. I cried the minute she started singing...thinking how big a girl she is, how fast it is all going, how very soon she will be walking out the door to college (well, okay, not really THAT soon but...). (insert big sigh)

She's the best. :)