Preschool version of bullying???

I chaperoned Munchkin's trip to the organic pumpkin farm yesterday. It was an exercise in patience. To start with, Munchkin freaked when I wouldn't let her take an armful of stuffed kitties on the tour (it was an incredibly muddy day and I didn't want to deal with her reaction should a kitty or kitties fall in the mud...not to mention that she would need her hands for picking a pumpkin, holding the handrail to the hayloft, etc.). I finally put one kitty in my purse and left the rest in the car but she continued to scream for a good ten minutes...the whole walk from the car to the farm, while waiting for the tour to start...it sucked. Plus, I had another child with us ("A," a girl whose parent couldn't make it) and I had to let the teacher and another mom handle her while I dealt with Miss Tantrum.

Then, A didn't really want to stay with me once Munchkin stopped the tantrum since she doesn't know me. She wanted to stay with "C"'s mom since her mom and C's mom are friends and they all hang out together. So...I kind of let her go with C's mom (C's mom didn't have a background check clearance so officially she couldn't drive another student--even a friend's child--on a school trip).

Then, C proceeded to take two hands and shove Munchkin in the back while they were all standing to have their picture taken before the start of the tour. Munchkin fell down on her knees into the mud and sat there. She started screaming, "I hurt myself!" and crying about being covered in mud. C's mom said she thought it was an accident and C proceeded to say, "I'm sorry" to Munchkin--one of those sorry's which makes no eye contact and sounds really insincere.

Then, the farmer asked all the kids to sit on the steps of the barn so that she could tell them about the hay maze up in the loft. There were four little girls on the top step and Munchkin walked up the steps and sat in the last spot next to them. Along comes another girl, "M," (a girl who Munchkin has always told me is mean to her) and M proceeds to grab Munchkin by the arm and say to her, "Munchkin! Get up! I want to sit there! Munchkin! Move! That's my seat!" Munchkin just kept holding her ground and saying, "No!" and after the bratty kid torqued her arm for the 4th or 5th time I saw my girl take her tiny hiking-boot-covered muddy foot and kick her in the shin! (YOU GO GIRL!) By this time, M's mom had finally taken notice and told M that she needed to sit somewhere else. (YOU'RE DAMNED RIGHT, LADY!)

THEN...we're walking through the pumpkin patch, headed back to the wagon for our ride back to the barn when Munchkin sees who is walking in front of us with his mom and dad. Munchkin proceeds to say, "That's N...he's the one who always pushes me on the playground!" N's mom heard her say this and says, "What does N do????" and I had no idea what to say so I said, "Oh, it's nothing, don't worry about it." and we just all kept walking. Of course, Munchkin has mentioned N at home, saying he pushes her a lot so I'm betting he really does.

So...we saw the pigs, we saw the chickens, we saw the hay maze, we chose a pumpkin, we had a hay ride, we got the hell outta there...thank goodness. And I now have plenty to talk about when I go in for the first conference of the year in 3 weeks.

It's hard to watch things like that start to happen to your own child. I remember the way it feels to be picked on. I don't want Munchkin to feel that. Ever. I know that's not possible but I really wish I could prevent it. She's now the oldest child in her class but she is still one of the smallest in stature...I think the other kids take advantage of this (or try to). I don't usually approve of kicking or hitting but I was so glad she finally kicked that little girl yesterday--she'd had enough yanking on her arm, she knew she had the right to sit in that spot, she knew the girl was being mean and my little girl said "no" until she was practically blue in the face--she finally kicked out in desperation and I didn't scold her for it.

BikeBoy thinks we should start looking into a TaeKwonDo class for her or something. Anything that might build her confidence and the ability to stand up for herself later on. I had heard that girls can be mean but I had no idea how young it all starts. I cried tonight telling my mom about it...I cried out of frustration that I couldn't prevent it, that I didn't know how to handle it.

But today was a better day...ice skating for an hour with a buddy and that buddy's mom--over an hour at the rink and it was a blast! Then we had Subway lunch with them. Then, after running errands, we ended up at the neighborhood park and many of the neighbor kids were there. Munchkin was so kind and caring of the 2-and-under set...she helped gather them up when their moms said it was time to go, she played peek-a-book with a couple of them, she played hide-and-seek with another, she kicked a ball back and forth with another. She just knows how to treat younger kids and the littlest ones just seem to adore her. It makes me proud of her and makes me think how much she will like being someone's big sister someday. :)