Mama's Special Words...

Munchkin has now decided that Mama says certain words that she shouldn't say. Words like "stupid" or "sucks." I never say them directed towards Munchkin or even another being but I do use them directed at situations which are out of my control or something that I'm not happy about.

Today I decided that those are now Mama's Special Words. Much like Mama and Daddy can drink soda and Munchkin cannot until she's a big girl. That some grownups drink alcohol and Munchkin cannot until she is a grownup. There are now words that Mama can say which Munchkin cannot.

I also decided that, when she is a little older, I want her to know my whole list of "Special Words." Just for the occasions when she needs them. She's small, she's Asian in a predominantly White community, she was adopted...there are lots of reasons she may get picked on later (along with all the typical things kids get picked on for!). I want her to be able to use these words judiciously when necessary! What the heck...the f-word, the s-word, the mf-word, the g-d-words, the j-f-c-words, the a-word! Let her have them all at her disposal! Yeah! That's my girl! ;)

Innocent toots...

Munchkin was on my lap tonight, watching Lady and the Tramp...suddenly she lets out the world's longest toot...it was truly never-ending. She then says, "'Cuse me, Mom." Then she sniffs the air and says, "Pretend I'm a skunk."

What a freakin' funny kid I have! :D

My mom will be alone on Thanksgiving.

She has been invited to her step-(notso)DD's house but doesn't want to go. She said she will tell them she is going to her sister's (not true as her sister and her family is all headed north to her own son's camp and they have not invited my mom--I'm sure they would invite her if they knew she'd be alone). So, Mom's dh can go to his dd's house and mom will "go for a nice ride" and fix something good for lunch instead. That bums me out...breaks my heart, really...that my mom will be alone on such a special holiday. I asked her if she could come out here but she says she really can't...would have to arrange assisted living for her dh and there isn't time and it's a lot of $$. We can't go there ($$$ and time issues, too). So, that's the way it's gonna be this year. :(

No mama should ever...

have to bury her child. I don't care how old the child was...whether stillborn or middle aged or older...no parent should have to suffer this loss.

Thinking of Doreen today on this second sad "anniversary." Thinking of my Aunt (Clint's mom) whose 48 yo son died last Wednesday and she buried him Sunday--the day before his 49th birthday. Thinking of my godmother (Eddie's mom) who lost her younger son in 2005 when he was just 53. Thinking of my SIL who lost an infant (Josh) to SIDS in 1980. And too many others...

None of this should have happened. Don't know what more to say.

Food is not my friend.

Why can't I just accept the fact that eating well and healthfully does not entail gorging myself on Halloween candy/chips, etc.? As background, I started WeightWatchers Online in mid-May of this year and have since lost about 33 lbs. Well, for the past 5 weeks or so I've either plateaued or gained weight so I'm now at just 30 lbs under my beginning weight. I had company for 2 weeks in October (my mom!) and we ate out a lot...then there were 4 birthday parties in October, 6 if you count celebrating Munchkin's birthday at home and at school as well as her bday party itself. Then we had my grad. school friends over and I had to try a taste of everything everyone brought. Then the time has changed and days have shortened which makes it hard to get out for my 5x/week walks. Then Halloween came along...it was a cold night and we only had about 1/3 the number of Trick-or-Treaters as usual. I had bought mostly healthful treats this year but there was some chocolate and I have proceeded to eat most of what was leftover. Uuuggg. Or should I say *burp* instead! Or maybe *oink* would be more appropriate.

I do feel addicted to bad foods...I don't gorge myself on apples, obviously ('though I do love apples!)...I will eat 10 Hershey Kisses but can only make myself eat one apple. For Weightwatchers 5 Hershey Kisses equal the same amount of points as 3 apples. Which would fill me up more? Three apples. Which would really taste delicious and yummy? HERSHEY KISSES, of course.

So...I will try to get back on track tomorrow. I haven't been journaling my food choices and I found that was a key factor in my weightloss success...if I see it written down it's much harder to deny that I ate it. I wish I didn't like food. I wish I hated pizza. I wish chocolate made my stomach turn. (well...if the wish fairy is reading this, I don't REALLY wish any of those things but you KWIM!!)

Plus, I'm only about 13 lbs away from my goal weight...my blood pressure has decreased, I've dropped 3 sizes, etc. The changes are great and I have to focus on this instead of just feeling deprived of junk foods. Junk foods that taste delicious but will shorten my life and cheat me out of time w/Munchkin and BikeBoy (who looks great BTW...he has lost a bunch of weight, too, and now has the physique of Lance Armstrong).

INXS and other musical ramblings

Remember when JD Fortune won RockStar: INXS? I wonder how their tour is going. I saw them when Michael Hutchence was still alive and they were pretty cool. I like JD a lot but I just listened to some audio clips on their website and not many of the songs reached out and grabbed me, KWIM? But, I still really dig "Pretty Vegas" and would download it if it's available somewhere besides iTunes (my MP3 player doesn't do iTunes!).

If there's one thing I'm really looking forward to it's taking Munchkin to some rock or blues shows in the near future. She already loves all kinds of music (except country...good girl!). She will sit through a children's symphony concert for 45 min and she lets me pretty much play any rock in the car. I listen to myriad things on Syrius Radio in the Jeep...alternative, spectrum, hair bands, classic rewind, blues, buzz saw...she doesn't seem to dislike any of them. She really loves Aerosmith, though! Very funny! Even when she was a baby and I used to play one of their CDs to rock (pun not intended!) her to sleep. I have missed going to shows myself so it will be good to get back out there occasionally w/Munchkin in tow (wearing earplugs of course!).

OMG! I have found a pizza blog!!!

I was in heaven reading it tonight! This blog even includes PICTURES of pizzas the blogger eats. YUMMY. And he includes a link to his other website with a listing of best pizza places all around the country (to which I have already added 2 listings!!).

This after Munchkin and I tried a new pizza place today. I read reviews of it and they said it was deep dish similar to Pizzeria Uno/Due in Chicago (we used to frequent Due's when we lived there). I would definitely agree...most similar to PU that I've had outside Chicago. Chunks of tomato spread on top of cheese resting on a yummy crust. The crust wasn't exactly like PU's but the rest was bringing back memories. In fact, we ordered a small and I ate half of it there, brought two more pieces home and ate them before supper! Oooopppsss...so much for weightwatchers today. Well...heck...it was Halloween three days ago and I've been eating candy, too. Tomorrow???? Must reform. Must reform. Must reform... :)

Anyway, got me to thinking about my all-time fav pizza places and they are (in no particular order!):

~Pizzeria Due, Chicago, IL
~Ray's, The Village at 6th/11th in NYC (Over a 1/4 lb of cheese on every slice, stand at the counter and do some people-watching while you munch your slice...it's the Village...eventually the whole world will walk by)
~John's, on Bleeker in The Village, NYC
~Pine Lake Pizzeria, Sammamish, WA (the only one on this list I've never actually eaten AT...only delivery!)
~The Pizza Place, North Bend, WA (the one that is similar to PU/PD)
~Pizza Experience, Tacoma/Fife, WA
~The Pizza Joint, Portland, ME (when you get 'shrooms on your pie they are piled high like a mountain!)
~Bertucci's, Brookline Village, MA
~Dino's, Brookline Village, MA (they also have great Greek salads)
~Two-Fisted Mario's, in Denver, CO (Lodo)
~BeauJo's, Denver, CO (gotta love the extra thick edge of crust served with honey for dipping!)
~Katie Downs', Tacoma, WA (pizza is very good but the location, sitting on Commencement Bay, is even better...probably the prettiest location on this list)

And two which are, unfortunately, closed:
Al Capones in Kenmore Square, Boston, MA circa 1979
Alfieri's, Portland, ME circa 1985

And in 2003 (I think) I found out I could get two whole Ray's pizzas shipped overnight to BikeBoy (when we lived in Denver) for his birthday...in dry ice from NYC...for about $45 so I did it. Boy was it gooooooood. Of course, they stopped doing that so now we'll have to go there and get it ourselves but that's another story (not like I don't already have a gazillion reasons to go to NYC!).

If you didn't know that I was a pizza afficionado before--you do now!! Mmmmm...I'm hungry now! I think the best thing about pizza is that it is comfort food to me. There are two kinds of pizza: good pizza and great pizza. (okay...I confess...I lifted that from somewhere but I agree with it!) I've never had a bad slice. Pizza is so consistently good but varies so widely in flavor from place to place. And it's convenient...you can grab a slice on the run if you have to. What's not to like????

What are YOUR favorites?

Moms' Night Out...

My neighborhood Mom friends has a monthly get together. Each month we take turns organizing some kind of event...can be just drinks at someone's home, dinner out, whatever. I hadn't made it to one yet but November was my turn to organize so I chose to go to a tea house for tea/scones. Five of us ended up going tonight and it was really nice. The tea (black jasmine) was delicious and the raspberry scone was good. It was not as fancy as attending a "high tea" but it was 7:00 pm so that's not what we wanted anyway. It was relaxing and the conversation and company were both good! I will definitely try to go again!

My cousin, Clinton...

...died yesterday. He was 48...would have turned 49 next Monday. He had diabetes since childhood and had been on kidney dialysis for the past several years but I just saw him in August and he was doing well. They believe he died in his sleep of a heart attack yesterday afternoon while napping. He leaves 4 kids--youngest 16. I wish I had known him better but I do know he was a gentle heart, a kind man. I'm so sorry for his family, especially his kids and his mom.

I love you, Clint.

KAAN Newsletter in today's email...

I love this newsletter...always learn something new or read something interesting. In today's letter I saw a link to a new website for Korean Adoptees and their families. I lurked a bit--feeling somewhat odd because most of the posts were by teenaged KADs and some of them were not warm/fuzzy. I felt a bit sad reading some of the posts, I guess. Hoping Munchkin doesn't feel anger at me for "taking" her out of her country of birth. For making her a part of a family which consists of only herself (at the moment!) and two caucasian parents.

http://www.koreanadopteeforums.com/forums/index.php

More later as Munchkin is waking! :)

"Your biography becomes your biology"

Meaning your parents are just as important as your genes.

I read this in an article on IF (infertility) by Marcelle Pick, ARNP. I don't know if I agree that your biography BECOMES your biology but I do think that one's environment is at least as important as one's genes. Interesting to think about anyway...wish I had more time to explore it tonight.

Dad...

He would be 80 years old today. Instead, as I mentioned before, he's eternally 41. I'm older, right now, than he ever got to be. Weird. How I wonder what he would be like at 80; how our lives (mine, Mom's) would be different. He missed all my graduations, mom's retirement and the golden years with her, my wedding to BikeBoy, Munchkin. He missed concerts and birthday parties, recitals and vacations, Thanksgivings, Christmases, Halloweens, anniversaries. He wasn't there to wipe away tears, to bandage skinned knees, to hug and cuddle me when I still so desperately needed it. He missed time. Time to be a husband, a son, a brother, a father, a friend, a grandfather, an uncle. He missed it all.

And what a great man he was. Kind, gentle, soft-spoken. Lean and lanky. He loved sports, especially baseball. He had a smile and a wave for everyone. He could sing and play guitar. He could yodel! He had a soothing voice and he smelled like the cologne "Canoe." He had beautiful thick dark hair and hazel eyes.

I miss you, Dad. I speak with you every night but what I wouldn't give to spend even an hour with you today, to get to know you--even briefly--from my adult POV vs the 6 yr old child POV from 1968. I love you.

Forever your little girl...oxoxoxox,
T

Thoughts of Eddie...

For some reason this old Beatles' tune had me crying tonight. I was listening to Paul McCartney sing the song "For No One" on t.v. When he got to these lyrics, I just thought of my "brother" Eddie:

Your day breaks, your mind aches
There will be time when all the things
(he) said will fill your head
You won't forget (him)

In context of the entire song it doesn't remind me of Eddie at all but this one phrase stuck out and pierced me like a tiny dagger. I hope he knew how much I loved him...how I wish he could have met Munchkin...how I wish he could have lived to be an old man.

And, tomorrow my dad would have turned 80...instead of eternally being 41.

Damn cigarettes...they have murdered so many who meant so much to me.

I guess I'll be a doctor for Halloween...

Munchkin and I were riding back from the auto mechanic yesterday (fixed my car, still under warranty, some crank sensor or something). Somehow we started talking about education and I explained that most people go through elementary school, junior high and high school; some of those people go on to graduate from college; some of those people get masters degrees (like mama and dada); and some of those go on to get doctorates (like mama). Mama has a doctorate, "Dr. Mama," I jokingly said! Then Munchkin says, "That's okay, Mama...you can be a doctor if you want for Halloween." Jeesh...I can't get any respect for this DPT no matter where I turn! ;)

An evening with old friends...

What an afternoon! On the occasion of a grad school friend and her beau coming to town from Hawaii one of our friends organized a get-together and we held it here at our house (more central location). There were 5 of us classmates, 5 significant others, 5 kids from age one to six. They were here from 1:00 pm until nearly 7:00 pm and it was wonderful. We slid easily back into the friendships even though with a couple of exceptions we hadn't seen each other for about 9 years. It was potluck so there was more food than you could imagine but the company was the best thing. It was so odd, though, thinking back 9 years...there have been 2 marriages, 4 births and one adoption since then. All of us PTs are working part-time as PTs now (even one male!), two of us have doctorates now and a third is working towards one. And everyone looked the same! Now we're all in our 30s and 40s but we all still look good. And such cute kids!!! Of course, Munchkin is the cutest but they were all pretty darned cute...and no fighting or arguing. Just a really nice day. It was sad to see them all go...especially T and J, knowing they were headed back to HI and I don't know when I'll see them again. :(

The Halloween Dilemma

Munchkin can't make up her mind as to who/what she wants to "be" for Halloween...Supergirl, Kiki (from Kiki's Delivery Service), a cat (she was a cat last year), Cruella DeVil. I thought she had narrowed it down to Kiki and was preparing for that when, yesterday--she's watching "Dora's Halloween" and Dora asks us out in tv-land, "What are YOU gonna be for Halloween?" and Mia happily screams, "A DALMATION PUPPY!"

WTF?! She's never mentioned that one before...don't know what I'm gonna do...

Last night's Fairy Story

Hmmm? What does this mean?

Last night I was about to tell Munchkin her Fairy Story, and she sometimes gives me the details she wants in it, you know?...who, where, etc. So she says, "I wanna push "J" down and break his works."

Well, J is a friend (neighbor who also goes to preschool w/Munchkin, he's a year younger but outweighs her by about 10 lbs) who lately has been pushing Munchkin...kind of tackles her over and over...every time they get together (at home, at school, at the park...). It's hard to handle...sometimes Munchkin laughs, sometimes she hates it. J's mom isn't very firm about him stopping the behavior which makes it awkward for me to handle if I am there, too. I usually tell Munchkin to say, "Stop it! Stop pushing me! I don't like it!" I'm sure J finds this hard to believe during the times when Munchkin is actually laughing about it. Other times she has bumped her head hard on the ground and it hasn't been so funny. :(

And the part of her comment about breaking his works? Well, "works" are what individual projects are called at Munchkin's Montessori preschool. I asked her if J has ever broken her works and she says 'no'...has she ever broken his works?...again, 'no'. Not sure if there are other things going on here but I am tempted to contact her teacher if it comes up again.

And, another thing...this little boy is beginning to remind me an awful lot of his father. That is NOT a good thing. I'm wondering a little if there is more than arguing and shouting going on at home between his mom and dad. It worries me a little and I don't know what to do or say.

Suggestions welcome for any of the above!

Hello, my name is NomadicOne and I'm a...

tapaholic.

I cannot believe how addicted to tap I am getting. I google it. I practice steps while cooking dinner. I come home from a walk and sneak 5 minutes to put on my tap shoes and stomp around the kitchen to a Chuck Prophet song. I listen intently to the drum parts in all my favorite songs now...wondering what steps might fit. I borrowed a film ("Bootmen") from the library and watched it tonight...rewinding parts to try to decipher the freakin' steps.

I'm hopeless. In my mind, I am free and I am Savion Glover. I know that sounds weird! It is weird but it's how I feel. I feel so cool tapping until I glance in the mirror and see the dorky, middle-aged, white woman staring back at me, dancing clumsily around the studio. Crap.

And, my f-ing knee is f-ed up. Tonight I applied arnica cream and took tylenol and rubbed my knee, speaking the kindest of thoughts to it. Maybe I haven't expressed my appreciation and thankfulness lately...

I will tap away, however, until I need knee surgery, anyway!

Free Ice Cream...

What could be better? Munchkin had a coupon for a free Coldstone Creamery ice cream for her birthday but it expires tomorrow so we went tonight to imbibe. It was cold and rainy and dark but...who cares?!!!!...IT'S ICE CREAM!

She stands before the counter, peering in at all the big vats of creamy sweetness and says, "I want that one." (there are, like, 20 tubs of ice cream) So I say, "Which one, honey?" And, again she says, "That one." This goes on two or three more times with me pointing to a different color/flavor until I am finally hitting the jackpot when I point to the bright blue option. The gal behind the counter gives her a taste spoon of it, telling me that "lots of kids choose this one." So I ask, "What is it?" thinking it might be raspberry or something. No...it's COTTON CANDY. And Munchkin wants M&Ms mixed in. Yikes. Sugar rush. Sugar high. Sugar buzz. I see it all coming and it's 7:00 p.m. (big sigh) But...it was for her birthday so I should let her choose and I do and that's what she picked.

We got our ice cream "to go" (JFTR, I got sinless vanilla with pineapple, banana, and coconut mixed in) and headed home. When we are walking up the steps into the house Munchkin says, "I'm thinking about hot chocolate."

Needless to say, since we were carrying an armload of sugar disguised as ice cream, hot chocolate was not on the agenda...how about a little "NightyNight" kids' herbal tea, sweetie?

'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Well...that's an improvement...the first time I plugged in my info it told me I'd be missed by the "shady toll booth guy." Yuck.